You know, there are many things I like about the community here. Really, sometimes it feels so nice. I meet people who are very warm and friendly, people who make me feel like we belong here. But then… there is another side. Sometimes, it feels like I am still an outsider, like I am not supposed to be here, like I don’t fit in. I knew, moving to a new country, it would not be easy, but I did not expect the things some people would say. Some comments, they are sharp, you know? They hurt, and they stay with you. It is not just once or twice, it feels like it is always there, following me.

And now, I see it also with my children, and this hurts me even more. We have two kids, still small, still innocent. They never had to think about things like race before. It was never a problem where we came from. But here, in this new place, they start to notice things. They see how some people look at us, how they talk to us, like we are not the same, like we are somehow… less. And then they come to me, they ask me, “Mummy, why people say these things?” “Mummy, why they don’t like us?”

How do I answer them? How do I explain? I don’t want them to think they are less than anyone else. They are not! It’s so unfair. I have to tell them, again and again, they are just as good as everyone else. Those words, those looks, they do not make us who we are. But it is so hard, really hard. Because no matter how much I try to protect them, they still feel it. They hear it, and I see the confusion, the sadness in their eyes.

And always, it feels like immigrants, people like me, we are blamed for everything. Every problem in this country, they point to us. We are blamed for the health system, for the jobs, for everything. But they do not know! Before we came, our family paid more than £12,000 to the NHS. Yes, £12,000! For us, this is a lot of money. But people still think we come here for free things, to take and not to give back. They don’t see our sacrifices, the things we leave behind, the money we pay, just for the chance to be here, to start a new life.

I feel like I am always having to explain myself, to show that we belong here, that we are not a problem, not just here to take. It is so tiring. It makes me feel so tired. Every day, it feels like a fight to stay strong, to keep hoping, to believe that maybe, things will get better. But some days, I feel so tired. Tired of having to prove all the time that I have the right to be here, tired of feeling like I am outside looking in.

I want so much to be part of this community, to feel like this is home. I try so hard, every day, to be part of things, to help, to show that we are good people. But when people make you feel like you don’t belong, like you are a problem, it hurts. It really hurts.

And still, I have to be strong for my children, to protect them, to make sure they don’t feel all this pain. Because I don’t want them to grow up thinking they are not good enough, like they have to prove they are worth something. My children, they are beautiful, they are smart, they are strong. They deserve to know this, to feel it, deep in their hearts.

So, I keep going. I keep moving forward, holding on to the hope that maybe, one day, things will change. That people will see us for who we really are, not just where we come from. That my children, one day, they will not have to ask these questions, they will feel they belong, anywhere they go. Until that day, I will keep telling them, and telling myself, that we are more than what people say, more than the hurtful words, more than the bad looks. We are here, we are strong, and we matter.