My name is John, and I’ll be 54 next month. I’ve lived in Hatfield since 1972, and I’ve been homeless since 2015. No one chooses to be homeless, but sometimes life takes unexpected turns. My mental health has always been a challenge, and I’ve struggled with various addictions that I’m still battling today. While I’ve managed to stay off alcohol, I’m still dealing with substance use, but I’m getting closer to sobriety.
My mental health issues started when I was a kid. Being adopted left me feeling lost and disconnected. I didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t like who I was. To escape from those feelings, I turned to alcohol. I was an alcoholic for 35 years, which led me down a dark path, including time in jail. Although I eventually quit drinking, I continued using heroin and crack. I’ve since given up heroin, but I’m still fighting a difficult mental addiction to another substance. It’s not a physical dependency, but it’s a tough battle in my mind. I’m hard on myself to overcome it, but I’ve had incredible support from people like Sarah. No one wakes up one day and decides to become an addict—it can happen to anyone.
I’m currently living in a house provided by an organisation that has been a huge help. I was on the streets from 2015, and during my drinking days, I wasn’t the easiest person to help. Now that I’m off alcohol, I’m focused on getting my life back on track. There’s someone in my life who I want to get better for, and I’m moving in the right direction. My goal is to be completely clean within the next three months, for this person’s sake. I believe things will improve.
I’m involved with an allotment project that I help run. When we first took it on, it was completely overgrown. With some help from friends, including a digger for a few days, we managed to clear the space and turn it into something meaningful. The allotment is coming along well and will be a communal space for everyone. It’s not just for those of us living here; anyone feeling lonely or needing to get out can come by, do some work, or grab some food. Even last night, I was up there in the rain because it helps me deal with my depression. When I’m feeling down, working on the allotment and being around others helps lift me out of that dark place. I might not know much about growing things, but I enjoy doing the heavy work. It’s therapeutic for me and benefits others, so it’s something I’m passionate about.
Being homeless and struggling with addiction is not something anyone plans for. Life happens, and circumstances change unexpectedly. One day you might have everything, and the next, nothing. It’s important not to judge those who find themselves homeless or addicted to drugs. Many of us are in these situations because of life’s circumstances, not because we chose this path. I started drinking at 13 because no one told me I had mental health issues. Now, there’s more awareness, and I hope people will learn to care for each other instead of looking down on those who are struggling.
It’s about caring, not staring.